From Victim to Creator

The mindset and how we frame the inevitable challenges is critical to how we move through life. Our thoughts and actions often fall into three roles: the Victim, the Persecutor, and the Rescuer. This concept is known as The Drama Triangle (first described by Stephen Karpman in 1961). When we find ourselves in difficult situations, we tend to take on one of these roles, which can lead to disempowerment, stress, and even conflict.


The Victim role is characterized by a sense of powerlessness, blame, and a lack of responsibility. People who fall into this role often feel like they are at the mercy of their circumstances and struggle to see how they can change their situation. They might say things like, "Why does this always happen to me?" or "There's nothing I can do to change this."    


The Persecutor role, on the other hand, is characterized by aggression, criticism, and blame. People who take on this role often feel like they need to control the situation and others around them to get what they want. They might say things like, "It's all your fault!" or "I can't believe you did that!"


Finally, the Rescuer role is characterized by a sense of obligation and a need to fix things for others. People who take on this role often put others' needs before their own and can become enmeshed in other people's problems. They might say things like, "Let me do it for you," or "I'll take care of everything."    

However, it is important to note that these roles are not set in stone, and we can choose to shift our mindset and behavior to more empowering roles. 

In 2005, David Emerald Womeldorff M.D., published a new model which is now become widely used to facilitate teamwork and productivity in organizations and individuals around the world. Unlike The Drama Triangle, which is problem focused, TED (The Empowerment Dynamic) is oriented towards your passions, goals and outcomes. The Creator, the Challenger, and the Coach are more empowering roles that we can take on to navigate challenges and achieve our goals.    

The Victim transmogrifies into Creator .

The Persecutor takes on the role of Challenger.

The Rescuer assumes the dynamic new role of Coach


The Creator role is characterized by a sense of responsibility, curiosity, and a focus on solutions. People who take on this role see challenges as opportunities for growth and take proactive steps to create positive change. They might say things like, "What can I do to make things better?" or "How can I turn this around?"   


The Challenger role is characterized by constructive feedback, accountability, and a focus on growth. People who take on this role challenge others to grow and improve, while also holding themselves accountable. They might say things like, "Have you considered this perspective?" or "What can we learn from this experience?"   


The Coach role is characterized by support, empowerment, and a focus on development. People who take on this role help others to identify their strengths, weaknesses, and goals, while also encouraging them to act towards achieving those goals. They might say things like, "What resources do you need to achieve your goals?" or "How can I support you in this process?"   

A great example of someone who takes on life as a Creator is Oprah Winfrey. Despite growing up in poverty and experiencing many challenges in her life, she chose to take control of her circumstances and pursue her dreams. She became a media mogul, philanthropist, and inspirational figure to millions of people worldwide. Oprah embodies the Creator role by taking responsibility for her life and using her challenges as opportunities for growth.   

On the other hand, a great example of someone who embodies the Victim role is the character Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. Eeyore is always gloomy, expects the worst to happen, and sees himself as a victim of circumstances. He embodies the Victim role by feeling powerless and not taking responsibility for his life.   

At the end of the day, you are only as strong as the individual actions that you take each day.  I encourage you to reflect on which roles you tend to take on in your life and business and how you can optimize for success.

David Osterweil

Fitlife Foods Founder